


I Won't Say I'm In Love

by Hexworthy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Cupid AU, Fluff, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining, Shance Cafe Valentine's Exchange, Sort Of, random concepts, valentines ecxhange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 03:16:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17779550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexworthy/pseuds/Hexworthy
Summary: Shiro had been making people fall in love in all its forms for years. The main rule being, don't fall in love with the person falling in love. Shiro just had to go break that rule. Cue a lot of pining and angst!





	I Won't Say I'm In Love

**Author's Note:**

> Valentines day exchange for Sisi aka Coffeecarton on tumblr :D hope you enjoy it!!!

There was one rule to being one of the followers of Love. Don’t fall for the person falling in love. Unfortunately, Shiro hadn’t got that memo for the day, gone were the days of wings and heart shaped arrows. It was more a nudge in this direction or making them be somewhere they might not have been originally. It also meant no more of the toga nonsense, for which Shiro was more than grateful. They were awkward and annoying and Shiro wasn't paid enough to keep wearing them. 

Back when he first became a follower, he had learnt that falling for the person was the worst thing to happen. Everyone of them had died for love and to fall in love again was dangerous. They didn't age, they didn't die. They just helped spread the love, be it romantically, platonically or in the family sense. To love a human was dangerous because they couldn't die for it again. He had seen a friend go mad as she pined over someone who she had helped fall in love. That person was happy and unaware that a god was hopelessly in love and content to fade away into nothingness. 

Shiro had died for his husband, a conscious decision to save him from a fatal blow on a battlefield. Shiro was content to watch him grow and move on, to fall in love and be happy again, it had helped that Shiro had made it happened. They both moved on and carried on with their existences. 

Shiro had never hesitated about bring people together, but this was different. The person he was meant to help was efervescent, full of life but tinged with sadness and concern. Shiro was meant to push him towards his crush, engineer it so they fell for each other. Shiro could see it, see the future for them even if they eventually did not make it work. The man was laughing and he knew he should of acted, knew he should have accidentally knocked into the girl so they would actually talk more. He didn't he just watched them. They would remain best friends, maybe it was for the best. But it didn't stop a memory of a beating heart fluttering at a smile. Or how blushes felt because someone looked at him. 

Looked at him? They weren’t meant to be noticed. He dropped the money for a new couple he had been assigned and ran. When he got outside of the shopping centre, he tried to draw breathe despite not needing it. He was dead after all. He was part of the background, the movement in the corner of a person’s eyes. He wasn't meant to be flat out noticed. But that man did and for the first time in centuries, Shiro felt fear. Fear for his future, fear of dying for love again. But this time there was no second life. There was no chance to make his death meaningful. 

He heard the passing footsteps as he tried to forget, to just move on, but hadn't heard the ragged breathing of someone who had stopped right next to him. Nor had he noticed it was the same person he had turned away from. 

“Jeez dude, if you had a problem with me you might have just said? Or you know like not stalked me and my friend for a while like? We are just trying to have fun! We were just gossiping about family drama? Can a guy just be friends?” 

Shiro was brought out of his stupor in an instant, he almost poofed himself out of this into a nice void. He felt the shame burn through him that he had been noticed for that long. 

“I..Um. I wasn't..” Shiro was stumbling over his words and the guy was looking irate. 

“Just spit it out already, Either you have a major issue with me because of something or you're just shy or something and I dunno, dropped something and couldn't find an opening.”

An out, he was being given an out. 

“The latter. You dropped some notes when you pulled out your wallet.” He handed over some notes not caring about how much they were. It wasn't as if he could say I ruined your chance at eternal happiness because my stupid ass fell for you at first sight. A spectacular Oh Shit, He’s Hot moment. Shiro moved on leaving the guy standing looking at a couple of hundred dollar notes and out to where Shiro had been. 

It wasn't like Shiro had started to keep tabs on the guy, he learnt his name was Lance and damn that name did things to him. He found out that he came from a large family when they had crossed his path one day and that Lance was the youngest. Shiro discovered that despite his friendships they were few and far between and he was incredibly lonely. But most of all, Lance was kind and good and deserved laughter and love and good things. 

Shiro was falling in love. He’d seen it enough and had experienced it once upon a time too. He was being drawn to Lance more and more, he still wanted to know if he was being seen or not. Lance had left looked his way a few times, and Shiro didn't know what to do about it. 

“You know you could just not stare at him right?” Keith said as he knocked a person into somebody else’s arms. 

“It’s a bit hard he seems to be everywhere I am!” Shiro replied and tripped a person over and made a commotion to attract two people who ran over. 

“Then move away! It's not like we are stuck in one place or anything?” Another yell came as someone ran after another who had “dropped” something. 

“I ruined his chance at happiness! Like name one person who has fallen in love with the jobs we do?” A random message pinged on a phone and a smitten smile appeared. 

“You know there's a fair few right? Admittedly they are within our ranks but it's not impossible. It's hard watching everyone we meet fall in love and not feel it ourselves. Like Shiro, I love you but you're my best friend. That's enough for me, always has been and always will be. But I see you and it's like you have stars in your eyes. And I know you check up on them too. Don’t give me that look. Everyone knows.”

“Just, they're so happy, its just I forget how it feels to be loved like that. I want to be loved again.” 

“Maybe it will work. Upper management might even turn a blind eye.”

“Yeah, that helps when its another follower. He’s a human.”

Keith stopped dead. He looked at Shiro with a mix of horror and sadness, 

“Oh, Shiro,” he breathed and Shiro hung his head. “Come on, we still got to make people fall in love.” 

 

Shiro was sat on a bench, it was dark but the soft lights illuminated the park as people skated on the rink. He looked on as people held hands, laughed and smiled. In their own worlds away from the troubles outside of the park. There was a rustle and footsteps but Shiro paid no notice, too busy looking on with wonder and a sense of loss. Not for the first time either. 

Shiro moved his hand and felt paper. Well, that was new, it wasn’t there before, Shiro thought as he opened it. 

_Hi,_

_So I must have written this to many times and sounded as creepy every time but, you keep appearing and everytime I find my eyes are drawn to you, I can't not see you. It's like love at first sight but not at the same time. You're stunning beyond belief and I don't even know where this is going but, nothing seems to be these days. I’d love to get to know you, so if you feel the same or ya know want to hang meet me for ice cream tomorrow at 3?_

_You don't have to but if you don’t there's no hard feelings. So yeah._

_Love? Yeah. Love, Lance_

Well. Shit. Lance had definitely been noticing him. He so so wanted to be there, Lance had even looked familiar to some degree, like he had helped a version of him fall in love possibly centuries ago. Shiro longed to go but knew he shouldn't, that he wouldn't. It wasn't worth the pain and heartbreak that even meeting would bring. Shiro was there for people to fall in love, to not be drawn in. He had to protect everyone too, his fellow followers and the people who he made fall. He made sure they were happy and he wanted to make sure he did his job properly. He was loyal to a fault, and that included what he did. 

He didn't go want to go because he would break both hearts, his and Lance’s. He wanted to go because he didn't want to leave Lance hanging and be stood up. Shiro somehow knew Lance would stay longer than was needed. It hurt, it hurt to think of Lance setting himself up full of hope to let it fizzle and fester. Lance at least deserved a visit, even if it was to let him down gently. 

 

Shiro went, he was a coward and went. Shiro couldn't live with himself if he just left Lance to misery and pain no matter how fleeting it would have been. But something inside Shiro couldn't, wouldn't sit with it and accept that he would have caused such pain. He waited around the park entrance fifteen minutes before he was meant to and his heart would have skipped a beat if it could. Lance walked into sight and well, Shiro would be a horrendous liar if he said Lance wasn't doing things to him. He knew he had made a good decision, Lance looked resigned and not a flicker of hope. Shiro thought to what could have happened and he hated it. 

Shiro smiled and gave a small wave and Lance’s face lit up. Like Lance hadn't even thought that Shiro arriving was a possibility. Yeah, that thought really hurt. 

“Hey Lance,” Shiro said, his voice carrying over to him and Lance looked so happy. Shiro was still a coward, he wouldn't be able to say no anymore. Somehow saying Lance’s name felt so right in all the best ways. 

“Hey,” Lance replied almost breathlessly. He walked a little quicker and he stopped less than half a metre away. Shiro looked down at him and Shiro was gone for good. The hope that had been sparked, had caught flame in his eyes and it looked like Lance would turn into mussh. 

“My name’s Takashi, but most people call me Shiro, Do I just call you beautiful?” Shiro had never been that smooth. Ever. But with Lance, it was easy as life itself. Then, Lance had the audacity to blush, fully and deeply. 

“Lance, is good,” he smiled and they walked to the ice cream shop chatting about the small things. Shiro didn't let onto what he really was but enjoyed Lance’s company. The small smiles and the way Lance’s hand reached for his as they ate. The way Lance’s face lit up at the sound of the falling way and the way he dragged Shiro right into it. The small kiss to his cheek and the one he returned into Lance’s neck. Their hug before they parted. It felt nice good even. The touch he had creaved for too long and the feeling that he belonged once again. They parted with smitten smiles and Shiro turned to see Lance walking away hugging himself. Shiro felt is legs turning him and running towards Lance, he didn't know if he was hugging himself out of loneliness or giddiness but he didn't care. He wanted Lance to know he cared, so so much. Lance turned around at the sound of his footsteps and thee look of awe as Shiro bent down to meet eye to eye. 

“Can I?” Shiro asked, hopeful and not caring about the consequences. One moment with Lance was more than he ever thought he’d get. 

“Please,” came the reply, and Shiro met Lance halfway and Shiro may as well have just stopped working. They were kissing and it felt like Lance belonged there. In that moment, he was glad he hadn't made Lance fall in love. But he felt guilty about it too. He had fucked up Lance’s chance at happiness and all he has done was set Lance up for heartbreak and sadness. Shiro would never live that shame down. 

Shiro had admitted he was a coward to himself, he still met Lance and he just couldn't cause him any sadness. All he was doing was making the heartbreak for the both of them worse. They met up for walks, the went out for dinners and they made out on Lance’s bed. Shiro was always on the move, never sleeping but it felt like the world stood still with Lance, that they were the only people moving. 

Then there were those three little words. 

“I love you,” Lance whispered into Shiro’s neck, all they had done was cuddle, but it felt more meaningful than anything they had done previously. “I love you so much, Shiro. Please don’t go tonight.” 

Shiro’s guilt overwhelmed him. He loved Lance too, so so much but he couldn't say it back. Not after what he had done. Tears fell for the first time in centuries. 

“Shiro?” Lance asked, feeling the wet track on his skin. 

“Where do I start? The fact I’m no longer human? I was meant to make you fall in love with someone else? That I’ve ruined your chance at happiness and all I’m doing is hurting you? I’m sorry. I just. I saw you and I couldn't. The girl you were with that first day, I saw you and I couldn't, didn't, think about anything. I just wanted a chance. I should have just got on and watch from a far as always. Lance. I can't do this anymore,”

 

Another sob heaved from his chest, and all the feelings that came with them. 

“I love you too, but I cant hurt you, the worst part is I can't be with you. You’re human, you’ll grow old and die and go somewhere I can't follow. I’m sorry but I think it's best if i left. I’m so sorry I never meant to hurt you.”

Shiro pulled away and left, he had seen Lance face as he processed everything. The ghost was up. It was time to go to upper management and face whatever they decided to give him. 

Shiro didn't have to wait long it seemed, four figures stood in a park, going unseen by those around them. Upper management had seen what he had done and he was ready to face the consequences. His last request would be that Lance would live happily. Lance deserved that, for Shiro to become a figment of his imagination. Shiro was ready, his only regret really being that he didn't say goodbye to Keith. 

Shiro walked towards the figures and stood before them. Truth, Love, Life and Death, the four constants of the universe, saw Shiro and said nothing. He had only ever seen Love, but all four were a terrifying sight. 

“I’m sorry, I messed up a mission and I fell in love with the human I was meant to help. I will face any consequence you see fit to give. All that I ask is that Lance is happy. Maybe not now but he will be happy,” he fell silent and tried to hide how much he was scared. Because he was, inside all he could think of was the fear of not existing anymore. 

_Is this the man you failed?_ Love asked as Lance materialised in the middle of the park. Scared and shocked but he saw Shiro and confusion filled his features, then utter melancholy. 

Shiro just nodded, to afraid to say anything.

“Shiro? What's going on, who are they?” 

_Why can he see you?_ Truth asked, not in an unkind way, like Shiro was expecting. _Who said this man was to fall in love with the person next to him?_

Shiro was confused, what did that have to do with anything? He wasn't allowed to fall in love with a human, much less be seen by them. But wasn't that the thing that had irked him, how Lance had even seen him in the first place. 

_You lived life with love and kindness and were true to your values and to your love._ that must have been Life, with the way it grew and tinkled like bells in the wind. 

_You died for the love and even in this new life you have continued to live for the contents of this world._ the unmistakable sound of Death chilled Shiro to his core and he saw Lance wince as they ‘spoke.’

_So how can this Human see you?_

__“I don't know, all I know is that I love him. He means so much and I just want to be with him, but I can't leave this. I know the rules.” Shiro had no idea what was going on.  
_Takashi Shirogane, listen here and listen close. Lance can see you because when you were sent to make Lance fall in love, it was to fall for you and you him. Remember who is speaking._ Truth said, almost exasperated. _ _

__“But-”_ _

___No buts, you can spend your lives together, and when you are both ready to leave, you will resume your post serving Love, Shiro you will have life again. A heartbeat and the wonders that come with it. You will both serve Love but you will have eternity again._ Death added. _ _

__Shiro had expected non existence, not a future, especially not a future with Lance._ _

___Little one, look at me please,_ Life asked to Lance, who looked up to the shrouded figure. _What Shiro told you was true but sometimes we reward those who serve us well and live for them. You live for life and for love and so did Shiro. We are giving you eternity and the life you have can have Shiro there too. Is that something you would want?_ _ _

__Lance looked to Shiro then back to the figures. “I love Shiro and I would love to spend my life with him. He has made me happy and I just really like him. I just hope he feels the same. I’m nothing special. I’m me, a third wheel at best. When I’m with him I feel like I matter, that I’m worth something more than I can see. But I hope I live up to what you all see in me, so yes, I want Shiro.”_ _

__Shiro wanted to cry and ran to Lance and ran his hand through his hair, and using the other to wipe away the tears that had started to form. He felt his heart beat again and air fill his lungs and kissed Lance where he could, his nose, forehead lips anywhere he could. They had all the time._ _

__“I love you Lance, so so much. Your smile, the way you see past everything and see me for me, just everything. Good and bad and I promise you are worth something even if you can not see it, I will tell you when you need or want to hear it. Lance, you have given more to me than I ever expected to find,” he took Lance’s hand and placed it over his beating heart, “Its beating for you my Heart,”_ _

__“That's so cheesy” Lance laughed weakly as the sniffles subsided._ _

__“Let's go back to yours, apparently I need to get some stuff sorted out and well, start the beginning of eternity with you.”_ _

__Lance let himself but pulled up and carried by Shiro and they walked out of the park to start their lives together._ _

__Back in the park, Truth, Love Life and Death shared a look, and went back to being the order of the universe once more._ _


End file.
